Merry Christmas?

Not exactly. Had an abdominal ultrasound scheduled on my way into work on Dec 22nd thinking that my gallbladder was acting up. Hear that I will likely be having a follow up CT because there is “something” in my liver. Not worried at this point because it could be a variety of benign things. Michele, my doc and Jim’s partner, knows bad things are brewing because she had gotten a preliminary call after the ultrasound. Back to radiology I go to drink the contrast. They let me take it back to my department so I can get my work day ready while enjoying the lovely concoction. I call Jim to let him know about the CT and he says, “I’m on my way over”. What? This is no big deal, just a follow up study. “I’m on my way over”. Now, I panic. Jim arrives and looks terrible. Not saying too much. We hold hands, pace, wait for the CT. It is clear that he is in bad shape. CT gets taken and once the results are up we walk in to the poor radiologist’s reading room for his findings. Remember, these folks read films, dictate reports, call docs. They do not meet directly with patients. This is way outside the norm for him. “Those spots in your liver are solid, metastatic. If I were seeing your pancreas alone I would think pancreatitis but in view of that liver………” The air has gone out of the room. We are stunned, devastated, crushed. I look long and hard at the images and feel so angry. I want to know what we’re up against but it CANNOT be real. We ask-what do we do next? He recommends that we go to interventional radiology at Lewis Gale in Roanoke for an ultrasound guided biopsy of one of the liver mets. Back to my department to pass off the days work. We are rattled, crying as we leave to go the Jim’s office to schedule the biopsy. The staff is on it. The docs at Lewis Gale will see me at 8 in the morning. Oncology has been consulted regarding additional lab work. Back to the hospital to have the labs drawn that are needed for the morning. They will also run tumor markers and we know those results will take a few days.

Thank goodness my parents have already arrived. Luke is almost home and Jenna is flying in this evening. This news cannot get out until they are here with us. We arrive home and have to tell my parents and the boys. The pain, darkness and devastation are horrendous. My wonderful husband is devastated, distraught. Please, put the tree up so it is in the house before Jenna arrives. He manages to do that for us. My beautiful daughter arrives home from her amazing adventure at sea and this is her welcome. I cannot bear what has happened to my family.